


Skywalker Genes Cannot Be Stopped

by Sm0lAvidReader, Vox_Panica_48



Series: SW: Dad Jokes and Similar Shenanigans [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Humor, Background Force Ghosts, Crack Treated Seriously, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gen, Luke Skywalker Needs A Hug, Parent Darth Vader, Puns & Word Play, Self-Indulgent, Skywalker Family Drama (Star Wars), Social Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:35:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27658937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sm0lAvidReader/pseuds/Sm0lAvidReader, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vox_Panica_48/pseuds/Vox_Panica_48
Summary: Several people would later ask (pester) Commander Luke Skywalker, the sole Jedi Knight of the Rebellion, about how the infamous pun war got started. He would simply inform the inquiring individuals that he reacted poorly to some ill-timed news. The actual events will be described so that any “certain point of view” nonsense can be avoided.AKA The universe takes a slight detour at the end of ESB. 50% Crack, 50% Not, 100% Father and Son.
Relationships: Luke Skywalker & Darth Vader
Series: SW: Dad Jokes and Similar Shenanigans [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022440
Comments: 17
Kudos: 193





	Skywalker Genes Cannot Be Stopped

**Cloud City, Bespin**

After a confrontation gone sour, Luke Skywalker found himself in a precarious situation. Dangling above a mining shaft, missing a hand, and being buffeted by the wind would have put anyone in a bad mood. The Force, for some odd reason, decided that this was the perfect opportunity for the big reveal. Congratulations, it's a Father!!! The news was only twenty-two years late. 

Normally, that twenty-two years would have been a non-issue for Luke. He had only gone to bed every night on Tatooine dreaming his father would miraculously arrive to take him away on a grand adventure. Of course, the Rebellion had changed that dream but it had morphed into the softer hope that his parents were proud of him. Luke should have been ecstatic that his father was alive. Sure, the missing hand thing was a bit of a bummer but trading it for a dad wasn’t the worst deal. There was only one problem. Anakin Skywalker had somehow gone through an identity crisis and was now going by the name Darth Vader Lord of the Sith.

Said Sith Lord was still talking.

“Join me and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son!”

He would like to ask Darth Vader to slow down. Either Luke zoned out during Master Yoda’s lectures or the old green gremlin forgot to inform him of something because Luke was under the impression that Jedi and Sith _killed each other_. Training did not include a guide on how to deal with newfound Sith Lord Fathers who switch from murder mode to job offerings. Maybe Luke was going insane. That would be a safe explanation for why the Empire’s iron fist was waxing poetic about feelings and fatherhood. Right?

The shock of losing a limb was probably not helping the sanity department. In fact, Luke was certain his brain had lost it because he was seriously considering the odds of falling down the mining shaft. What kind of person chose to escape an awkward conversation by falling? On the other hand, he only had one hand thanks to the man currently speaking. The same person he was supposed to murder without ever knowing the truth. Falling was the perfect way to get out of this increasingly awkward one-sided conversation. Leia would understand, hopefully.

“Come with me. It is the only way”

Taking Darth Vader’s hand was the only way unless you were Skywalker. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on one’s point of view, Luke had Skywalker genes that beat out any lingering common sense imparted by Owen Lars. These same genes were the reason Luke hesitated right before letting go. A Skywalker could not in good conscience let his very last words be an agonized “no” just in case falling turned out to be a bad idea. 

Feeling slightly hysterical and a bit petulant he uttered the infamous words.

“You couldn’t _HAND-le_ me.”

With that parting shot, Commander Luke Skywalker proceeded to yeet himself into the abyss below while his father looked on.

*Collective sigh from the observing Force Ghosts*

* * *

**Bespin: Different Point of View**

Considering his history, the day could have been a lot worse for Sith Lord Darth Vader. He finally got to meet his son face to face with the knowledge that the blond rebel pilot was truly HIS SON. The same child he thought he had lost twenty-two years ago, the one that constantly haunted his nightmares, one of the last remnants of _her_.

Darth Vader had been living in agony for so long, going about his days mechanically, adrift. His life’s only purpose was serving his master and waiting for the inevitable. That monotony was destroyed when he discovered the name of the force-sensitive who had ended the Death Star. Luke was like a precious life-giving star who warmed the ashes of Vader’s heart. A heart many said he didn’t have. The truth was that the Sith had only let himself feel anger and pain because he deserved nothing else. Now though, now he had a reason to live. The Executor could crash and burn yet it would not put a dent in the joy that Luke Skywalker’s existence created.

Darth Vader had been so hopeful that he would get to have something good in his life. However, the anticipation of meeting Luke had momentarily blinded him. Reality meant that goodness would always be taken from him or he would drive it out himself. This time was no different. Vader had lost his temper after Luke just managed to land a glancing blow to his shoulder. That was unacceptable. He had hurt his Little Star just like he had hurt his Angel. Anakin Skywalker was the brash one, the weak one. Darth Vader was supposed to be stronger.

Seeing his son back away from him and crawl onto that ledge hurt. It made sense but it hurt all the same. Vader regretted his actions like he had none other in the past two decades. He wanted to apologize but all that time as a Sith Lord had dulled his people skills. Darth Vader had a reason to be human now but it would take some practice.

Unfortunately for the father and son duo, Vader did not currently possess the subtlety needed for the delicate situation. In his defense, he was not aware of any parenting books that listed step by step instructions on how to deal with cutting off a child’s limbs accidentally. Anakin had once bought every parenting book available two decades ago which meant that Vader had intimate knowledge of such things. The fact that his son did not know of their relationship made things more difficult. Did the Jedi tell him nothing? Wait, he could fix that.

*One agonized NO later*

Never mind that was a terrible idea. This probably was not the best time for revealing such shocking news. It was unfortunate that the looming threat of the Emperor left Vader feeling rushed. He didn’t consider how tumultuous his son’s feelings were. Instead, the  Sith Lord decided he could make up for that apparent mis-step by offering his son power and a place by his side. That would show Luke how serious he was about his fatherly responsibilities.

“Join me and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son!”

Mentally patting himself on the back, Darth Vader briefly studied his child to see how the statement was received. No verbal response but Vader wasn’t too worried. His son was obviously judging how much he could get injured if he fell. The boy would then realize that he had no other choice but his father’s arms. Just in case, he would make the safer option clear.

“Come with me. It is the only way.”

Perfect. All Luke had to do now was accept his hand. Everything would work out and they could finally be the family they were meant to be. It would be much easier to protect the boy if he was close by.

“You couldn’t _HAND_ -le me.”

That wasn't in the plan at all.

Was falling the better choice in comparison to Vader? Did his son make a pun before he fell?

As Darth Vader headed back to the Lady, he pondered what had gone wrong. He realized a bit late that what had come out of his vocoder had only served to push his son farther and farther away. His mistakes had cost him once again. This failure was highly frustrating but Vader would keep trying, he would always keep trying for Luke.

He was proud that his Little Star was strong enough to get out of all sorts of sticky situations even if that meant rejecting his father. Darth Vader was equal parts proud and exasperated. Delivering a joke before falling was a needlessly dramatic exit. It was something only a Skywalker would…. oh. In hindsight, the Sith Lord should have expected that his son would take after him. Plans never survive contact with a Skywalker.

This realization did nothing to abate the intense feeling of yearning. Disappointingly, but not unexpectedly, the star was too bright to be shackled to the black hole that was Darth Vader. He had hoped that Luke felt the same longing to be a family. He had desperately wanted the boy to choose him over the rebellion. Vader was his father after all and that connection had to outweigh the simple ties of friendship. 

Maybe Luke would give him another chance. He wanted to get to know him without the lies of the Jedi interfering. The boy had made a rash decision on that ledge but with a clear head, he might reconsider. A proper apology was in order as well.

First and foremost, Vader desired the chance to be a father. If not then the Sith Lord would settle for being a deadly protector from afar. _Sideous_ was not allowed to lay claim to Luke as an apprentice. His master had lied about many things before but this lie was taking things too far. Since Obi-Wan had already felt his wrath, the Emperor would pay next.

* * *

**On The Executor**

Darth Vader reached out along the newly formed force bond between them. Luke was a warm and brilliant presence in the back of his mind. One so light and pure that he felt guilty for tainting it with his own. The amount of pain radiating from his Little Star made Vader regret the duel all over again. He almost recoiled but he owed it to his son. 

“Luke.”

“Father?”

There was no hesitation this time, no fierce denial. Luke accepted him. His son might have been escaping with the rebels but he had acknowledged Vader as his father. Joy and hope chased away all other feelings. 

“Son, come with me.”

The Force echoed a warning. Luke would escape from his grasp in mere moments. Slightly panicking, Vader searched his memories for something that would get through to his child. He couldn’t let Luke leave without knowing how important he was. Darth Vader loved his son, he had loved him the moment Padme delivered the news. He loved everything about Luke, even the bits that made him a Skywalker.

“Little Star, I am all that you have LEFT.”

The Millenium Falcon was gone and one could cut the tension on board the Lady with a vibro-blade. Darth Vader ignored this, stalking off with a purpose to his office. He was determined to have some sort of relationship with his son. The Emperor was too dangerous an enemy for Luke to remain ignorant when Vader could easily supply helpful knowledge. 

This time he would be strong enough to save what was precious to him. He wouldn’t fail. He couldn’t fail. Darth Vader had to be enough to protect Luke because he sure wasn’t strong enough to lose his child again. 

Now to figure out the problem of communicating with his son. Darth Vader looked at his datapad.

“What is Spacebook?”

*The Force Ghosts are considering moving out of the galaxy*

* * *

**Millennium Falcon**

Leia had rescued him but he still felt so lost. Han was missing, Darth Vader was his father, and Ben had lied. If Ben had lied so easily about something of such magnitude what else could he have lied about? No, that was too much to think about on top of the shock.

Ben had every chance to tell him the truth about Anakin Skywalker. He knew how important any information about family was to Luke. Old Ben hadn’t been a native but he had lived on Tatooine long enough. Even death didn’t provide an excuse.

Why? Ben, Why? Maybe I could understand if you just explained. Please. 

That presence in the back of his mind wasn’t Ben. It was dark, powerful, and curiously hesitant. This was new. Too new for Luke to decide whether he liked such a connection. 

“Luke.”

“Father?”

That slipped out but Luke couldn’t deny the truth. The man he had admired for so long was a Sith Lord. An enemy of the Rebellion. Someone who…was feeling absolute joy? Did the title “Father” matter that much to Vader? This was all too confusing.

“Son, come with me”

Luke should refuse. He should but he didn’t know if he wanted to refuse. Everything was muddled. He was in pain and just wanted the world to go back to being simple.

“Ben, Why didn’t you tell me?”

Moving made the pain worse but he wanted to be prepared for whichever way the situation went. Luke couldn’t bargain with his Fath-Vader for the safety of his companions if he passed out in the back of the Millenium Falcon.

“Little Star, I am all you have LEFT”

WHAT?? LITTLE STAR!!! A nickname was not in the books today. Never mind how warm it made Luke feel.

Wait a minute. 

WAIT A MINUTE. 

Darth Vader made a pun.

Nope. Luke does not have the brain power to unpack everything in that statement. Passing out is preferable now.

* * *

**A Few Hours Later With The Rebels**

Luke Skywalker was leaving (escaping) medical in better shape physically but completely worn out mentally. Since his datapad was banned, only his thoughts had been left to occupy him. Never a good thing. The results of contemplation are as follows. 

First, he was more adjusted to the truth of his Father’s identity. Not enough to test the newly acquired connection in his mind but better than before. Merging the childhood idea of hero Anakin Skywalker with the reality of Darth Vader was a long and painful process. However, he no longer felt like curling up in a ball and ignoring the world. All the screaming was internal about the fact that Sith spawn was now an accurate self-description.

Second, Obi-Wan’s betrayal was up in the air. No matter how much he pleaded, the force ghost gave no answer. The silence was beyond frustrating. Was an explanation that hard? It’s not like Luke was asking the man to defy death for something trivial.

*Force Ghost Obi-Wan is currently guilting in a corner and cannot be reached.*

Darth Vader’s parting words were food for thought as well. The nickname felt like home somehow. It was special and Luke would keep it close to his heart. He would be lying if he said that he didn’t want to hear it again. It bestowed some semblance of hope that Vader wasn’t as heartless as he appeared. Guilt coexisted with that hope for Luke was aware that he shouldn’t feel that way. The issue was that he could no longer view Darth Vader as solely a monster. It was scarier to acknowledge both Anakin and Vader as a human being with human flaws but Luke didn’t have much of a choice. This was the only path he could see to one day understanding just what had happened to his Father.

Lastly, Vader having a sense of humor was surprising but the man had spent much of their interactions surprising Luke in various ways. He would begrudgingly admit that he probably deserved the joke. With distance, his actions on Bespin were looking more and more foolish. It was clearer now that the Sith Lord was holding back in their duel. If Vader had been serious then Luke would have surely lost his life. This revelation had dulled, not destroyed, the anger over his loss of limb. Nevertheless, Skywalker sensibilities demanded that Vader not be allowed to have the last word. He would have to think of something for their next meeting.

Sitting on his bunk, Luke was delighted to finally have access to a signal after so long on Dagobah. He hadn’t checked social media or the internet in weeks. He was going to be behind on so many memes. Spacebook first and then Spacechat. 

He should probably change his account name again. The rebellion issued datapads that were secure but it didn’t hurt to be safe. It would be embarrassing after all the near misses to get caught by the Empire because of Spacebook of all things. Goodbye FarmBoi22 and hello LittleStarR5. No, Luke was not going to analyze his name decision.

*Ding* Friend request from DarthFather501.

*Click* Friend request accepted.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this one shot, there will be a continuation. We have a series of works that are planned for this universe. It just might take a little while because life and college. 
> 
> Thank you to @Jackdaw_Kraai, @loosingletters , and the New SW Canon discord server for enabling this madness.


End file.
